can a leopard change its spots?

Last week, a news article came out about a leader who was placed on leave amid workplace harassment allegations. A former colleague sent the article to me, and at first, I thought it was just another article of interest that was connected to the work that I do as a workplace investigator.

But it wasn’t.

The article also mentioned a former manager that I worked under many moons ago.

Years ago, I was working in a job that gave me all the feels: challenging work, stretch projects, skills development, and amazing clients. BUT I worked for someone who was disrespectful and toxic. If I asked for advice or support, I was penalized. They seized every opportunity to push me down and make me feel small – in private and in public. 

I felt handcuffed. I loved the job and all the opportunities that it provided me with, but I couldn’t stomach the lack of respect, stress, and anxiety brought on by my manager. 

I asked for help from the higher-ups, but my pleas fell upon deaf ears – which is ironic since I worked in HR. I endured the abuse for longer than I should have, and I finally chose to quit (though it didn’t feel like much of a choice at the time). 

On the day that I tendered my resignation, I remember feeling both tremendous relief and overwhelming grief.  Relief that I would no longer have to work with and for someone who didn’t respect or value me and grief for all the missed opportunities and amazing clients that I was walking away from. 

I have reflected on that season of my life so many times since then. I’ve second-guessed myself, wondering, “Was it really as bad as I thought it was?”.  

(Spoiler alert - it was)

And then, last week, I read the article that referenced my former manager. 

And it STOPPED. ME. IN. MY. TRACKS.

It said things like an independent investigator had determined that (my former manager) had ‘psychologically harassed the majority of their staff in the HR department’. Some employees described their experience as ‘nightmarish’. Others described the working conditions as ‘inhumane’. Employees cited feeling ‘insulted, demeaned, belittled and denigrated’.

And it all came flooding back.  

Part of me was in disbelief that my former manager was still operating the way that they had always operated - just in different organizations with more senior job titles.

And another part of me wasn’t surprised at all. When they were my manager, they didn’t accept any accountability for their mistakes, they didn’t demonstrate any remorse for their actions, and they didn’t bat an eye when they were confronted with allegations of bullying, harassment, and unfair treatment.  

Not then, not now. 

So, can a leopard change its spots?

I believe that people can change. But they need to demonstrate self-awareness, courage and commitment. They have to see the need for change. They have to want to change. And then they need to show up and do the work. All of it. Even the hard, messy, and confronting work.  

Because that’s the only way the vicious cycle stops, and real change begins.

What do you think?

May 17, 2021

Saira Gangji is an independent licensed Workplace Investigator at hrology in Calgary, AB. She investigates allegations of discrimination and human rights, harassment, violence and misconduct in the workplace. For more information about hrology and our process, see the work with me page.